Belong in the Snake Pit
by Palesset
Summary: What if the abuse Harry suffered was much worst? What if Harry became friends with Draco at Diagon Alley during his first trip there. This fic is Slytherin!Gray! Harry. WARNING: This fic has rape/non-con, self harm, and eating disorders. It also has Weasley and Dumbledore bashing with good Malfoys.
1. Prologue

**In this chapter, the prologue, I didn't use any dialogue because I mainly wanted it to be used as information when the story begins. The story has Slytherin!Gray! Harry.**

"Dialogue"

 _Harry's thoughts_

Growing up, Harry learned a lot on how to be 'normal' instead of the freak that he is. He tried every day to not be such a burden and a freak in hopes that he would be loved like his cousin. All his efforts were in vain as it quickly became clear that he wasn't wanted and would never be loved by his relatives. His cousin, Dudley, was always favored and treated better than Harry.

As a baby, he was left on his Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon's doorstep after his parents died in a car crash. Harry was always locked in his crib, where Petunia would often forget to feed him, or even change him, until the smell got too bad.

When Harry turned three, he told his Aunt that he loved her; she responded by hitting him on the head with a frying pan and saying that filth like him doesn't deserve love, he's never said those words since.

Dudley was allowed to go to preschool while Harry had to stay home and learn how to cook and clean. By age seven, Harry was expected to cook the meals and clean the household everyday; if the house wasn't clean by dinner, he wouldn't get anything to eat, though he rarely ever did.

Eventually the Dursley's realized that Harry had to go to school since so many of their neighbors had seen him and wondered why he had not been getting an education. It became clear that Harry was smarter than Dudley and he began to get beat for getting good grades, until he just stopped trying at all.

A couple months before Harry turned eleven, any luck he might have had suddenly ran out. The day was already going bad, as Vernon was in a horrible mood because there was a storm outside and there was a blackout, which meant he couldn't watch the Saturday Sports games. Harry accidentally burnt breakfast, which led to him being whipped until his back was in shreds, and then was forced to hand scrub the floors right after. Just as he was finishing up, Dudley decided it was time to come inside, tracking mud all over the place, right before Vernon came downstairs.

Harry stood up trying to explain what happened, but he was ignored, as Vernon walked to the stove in anger, and threw a pot full of boiling water into Harry's face. Instead of taking him to the hospital, Harry was left crying on the floor as Petunia yelled at Vernon for ruining his eyesight, because he wouldn't be able to clean or cook as efficiently. Harry was blind in his left eye, while his right was damaged to where he could see, but everything was blurry.

Later that night, Petunia took Dudley shopping since 'Harry ruined his day', while Vernon stayed home to make sure Harry cleaned. Once they were gone, Vernon pulled Harry upstairs and told him to take off his clothes, while he removed his own belt. After at least 15 minutes of whipping, Harry was shoved onto his hands and knees, and suddenly he was screaming as something forced its way into his virgin hole. Blood was used as lubrication, making it easier for Vernon to shove faster into Harry, once he neared his release. Vernon slid out of Harry, forcing him to suck on his cock covered in blood and semen, before locking him back up in his cupboard.

This became a daily situation for Vernon, while Harry had a routine of his own. Each time after he was raped, he found solace in a razor blade, dragging it across his skin until his arms were drenched in blood, repeating to himself that he was nothing more than a worthless freak.

After a couple months passed, Harry realized that something was going on in the Dursley household; he wasn't allowed to collect the mail anymore and he always heard the hooting of owls. Finally, the day of his birthday, and yet all Harry wished was to be dead. He was distracted from his thoughts as a pounding noise began on the door, right before the door fell off its hinges, showing the figure of a giant man who let himself in.

This man, who introduced himself as Hagrid, started explaining the wizarding world to Harry, before reading a letter addressed to him, which said that he was accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The following day had Harry and Hagrid heading off to the place where Harry would get all his school supplies, Diagon Alley.


	2. Chapter 1

"Dialogue"

 _Harry's thoughts_

Hagrid was explaining that the entrance to Diagon Alley was hidden from muggles and soon they came across a bar called the Leaky Cauldron. "Hello, Tom", Hagrid said to a man behind the counter.

"Ahh, hello there Hagrid, do you want your usual?"

Hagrid pointed at Harry before replying, "No, I'm on official Hogwarts business with young Harry Potter here." The change of the atmosphere in the bar was sudden, it became dead silent, and then everyone was rushing up to try and meet Harry. Tom, noticing how distressed Harry seemed, yelled at everyone to back off before sending the boy an apologetic smile.

Hagrid walked up to a brick wall before tapping out a sequence on it with his umbrella. The wall opened up to show a place filled with magic, Harry was completely amazed when Hagrid said, "Welcome to Diagon Alley."

The boy was practically jumping in excitement at all there was he could do here. "First things first, we need to go to Gringotts to get money."

"But Hagrid, I don't have any money," Harry objected.

The large man let out a large laugh before explaining how Harry was the heir to the Potter fortune while walking to the massive bank.

Once inside, he was surprised to see a short and ugly creature walking around before questioning what it is. "That's a goblin, they're nasty and rude, but on one else deals with money better than them." Walking up to the counter, Hagrid pulled out a key for Harry's vault before giving a letter to the goblin saying he was getting 'you know what' for Dumbledore. The creature looked Harry and Hagrid up and down before taking them to a side room with a cart on tracks; it snapped its fingers and the cart moved, taking them deep into the caverns before stopping.

"Vault 687," the goblin yelled before taking the key from Harry and opening the vault. It was filled with massive piles of coins and Harry transferred some from each pile into the velvet bag he had been given before getting back into the cart. On their way down to the other vault, Hagrid explained what each coin was and what their value was, also saying that they can be made into muggle money.

The cart stopped again as the goblin yelled, "Vault 713," before opening it up. Hagrid entered and came out with a small brown paper bag; he refused to tell Harry what was in it when asked.

Now that Harry had is money, he was excited to walk around and get his supplies, but before he could, he was stopped by Hagrid. "You wouldn't mind if I went to the bar and got a pick me up, would you?" If Harry was being honest he would have said that he wanted Hagrid to stay with him in this confusing, new place, but he didn't want to make the massive man mad, so he said that he would be fine. Hagrid smiled at him before giving the money and his list of school supplies, saying that he would be back soon and then walking away.

Harry took a deep breath and started walking, since he had been staring at his list of supplies, he hadn't noticed that he made a wrong turn. When he looked up, he saw that the area he was in looked different than Diagon Alley, it was darker and gave off a menacing atmosphere. Getting nervous, he tried to find his way out but only succeeded in getting lost further in the area.

"What's a pretty little kid like you doing in a place like this?"

Harry turned to see a man with a sullen face and yellow teeth leering at him. Instead of replying, he got lost in the flashbacks of his uncle looking at him the same way and raping him; the next thing he knew he was shoved up against the wall by the man.

"I-I don't want any trouble," Harry said, trembling under the man's tight grip. The leer only got bigger and the hands on his shoulders were forcing Harry to his knees. The man taunted him and threatened him not to bite before shoving his cock into Harry's mouth, going down into his throat, choking him. Harry started struggling against him and crying, but the man just laughed saying that he looked so pretty crying.

A voice was shouting in the background, but the man gave no attention to it, lost in the pleasure he was feeling. Suddenly, the man was thrown off him and Harry fell to the ground, taking in deep breaths, trying not to pass out from the lack of oxygen.

"Are you alright?!"

Harry recognized the voice as the one that was yelling and looked up to see a boy around his age with blond hair that seemed nearly white and aristocratic features. He tried to say yes, but that resulted in a coughing fit so he settled for nodding before pulling himself to his feet and looking around.

It took his working eye a while to focus enough to where he could see, and he used that time to make sure he wasn't about to fall back down.

"Filthy, disgusting, pig," was shouted and a whimper of pain soon followed. Harry looked to see the source of the sound and saw a man, who could only be the other boy's father, pinning the pervert against the wall with his wand.

Slightly behind, and next to him, was a women who was clearly the mother; she whispered into the man's ear before walking over to where the two boys were. Her eyes were filled with disgust and anger, but when she saw Harry, those emotions changed into worry and caring. Looking past her he saw the blond man choking the other while yelling at him in a deadly tone.

Harry pushed himself off the wall and walked over to the two men, where he put his hand on the man's arm and told him to stop, saying that he was fine before backing away.

All three blondes looked at Harry incredulously; the man said something and moved his wand, freezing the other male in place, before walking over to where Harry and his family was.

"What do you mean that man was clearly forcing himself on to you?"

Harry tried explaining that it wasn't a big deal, his uncle had done worst to him, not that he told them that. The parents looked at each other before the man looked at Harry and asked who he was and what he was doing in Knockturn Alley.

"I thought this was Diagon Alley, I was getting my supplies and got lost in here. My name is Harry Potter sir." Since he had been looking at his feet, he didn't notice the look that the other three had exchanged.

"Well Harry, my name is Lucius Malfoy and this is my wife Narcissa and my son Draco. Harry looked up, nodded once, before looking back to the ground and saying, "Hello sir, it's nice to meet you all and thank you for helping me." Lucius looked as if he was about to ask more questions, but Narcissa brushed him off and started leading the way back to Diagon Alley.

Once they were back into the more welcoming area, she looked at Harry and asked who he was there with.

"Hagrid came and picked me up but went to the bar after I got my money from Gringotts."

"That man is always drunk, but to do it while he's supposed to be watching a student is disgusting," Draco scoffed.

"Yes, I'll have to have a discussion with Dumbledore and the board of directors about his behavior." Lucius seemed angry that Hagrid was drunk. Harry smiled slightly, but inside he was filled with worry about what the man would do to him when he found out.

"Would you like to shop with us since your guide is not here? I'm sure Draco would like some company." Said boy nodded frantically while sending pleading eyes at the other. Harry hesitated, he wasn't sure as he never feels comfortable around adults, but they did save him, so he nodded shyly and said yes.

As their trip continued, they had bought their books and were fitted for robes; while they were being made, they bought more casual clothing and other necessities. The group was about to leave the shop when Hagrid stumbled in clearly drunk and looking for Harry.

"There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you," he walked up and grabbed Harry's arm and each Malfoy heard the whimper that escaped Harry's lips.

Lucius walked up and told Hagrid to let go, head back to the Leaky Cauldron, and find someone to side apparate him back to Hogwarts. The large man seemed like he was going to argue, but a sharp look from Lucius had him walking away.

Once they left the shop, Draco started talking all about Hogwarts and how he was going to be in Slytherin. Upon seeing Harry's confused face he was about to ask him something, but Narcissa interrupted saying that they should get something to eat for lunch and then finish shopping.

They went to a clearly expensive restaurant and looked through the menus. _You don't deserve food, you're a freak and if you eat you'll be as fat as the male Dursleys._ The thought flashed quickly through Harry's mind but he knew it was true, so when Narcissa asked what he wanted, he replied saying he wasn't hungry. She gave her husband a long look, it was clear she wanted to argue, but seemed to accept it before they ordered their food and Harry water.

As they ate Draco asked Harry which house he wanted to be in. "I don't know what the houses are; I didn't even know I was a wizard until yesterday." This statement clearly shocked the family and Lucius was the first to recover, asking where Harry grew up. "I've been living with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousin since I was one years old. They don't like magic; they're scared of it so they never told me anything."

The adults looked like they were going to ask more questions which made Harry worried, so he changed the subject by asking Draco about the houses.

"There are four houses at Hogwarts and you get sorted into one on the first night there. They are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin and each has qualities that, whichever one you have more of, will get placed into. Gryffindors have courage, but in my opinion they just rush into things blindly. Hufflepuffs are hardworking and Ravenclaws are intelligent. The last house is Slytherin and they are cunning and ambitious, but everyone says it's a bad house because You-Know-Who was in it."

Harry took all of this information in trying to figure out where he would be. _You're a freak, you don't belong anywhere._ He was worried that the thought would be true and he would be kicked out of the school. Throughout lunch the Malfoys also explained wizarding traditions and the importance of blood status.

"Harry, I hope you don't mind me asking but is there a reason that you only see out of your right eye?" Harry looked at Narcissa who appeared worried and curious, then made up a story about how he wandered into the kitchen when he was younger and knocked a pot of hot water on his face by accident.

The Malfoys were shocked, but told Harry that there were spells to fix his eyesight. Upon seeing the hope in his eyes, Lucius cast the spell; it felt like something was rubbing over his eyes and when he opened them, he could see clearly. _You don't deserve this, you're worthless._

After profusely thanking them, they continued their shopping until it was time to get their wands. The old man, Ollivander, creeped Harry out a bit, but quickly got Draco's wand figured out.

"Ahh Mr. Potter, I was wondering when I would see you," he then left and returned with a stack of boxes. Harry tried out each wand but nothing ever happened and he began to worry that maybe everything was a mistake and he wasn't a wizard. _You're nothing more than a freak and a whore._

Ollivander then returned with a box, cradling it in his hands before delicately giving it to Harry. When he touched the wand a feeling of warmth passed through him and green sparks appeared at the tip.

"Hmm interesting. I remember every wand that I have ever sold; this wand is holly with a phoenix feather core. The phoenix that gave its feather has only ever given one other, it's curious that this wand chose you when its brother gave you that scar. It is clear that we can expect great things from you… after all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things, terrible yes, but great.

The incident in the shop left Harry clearly shaken and the group made their way to a pet shop to get the last thing on the list. Draco found a gray owl that he liked and Harry found a raven with stunning purple eyes. The bird seemed to call to him and when he asked the shop owner, he explained that it was magical and one of it's abilities were that it could turn invisible. The Malfoys were surprised when Harry decided he was going to get it and once they paid, Draco asked what he was going to name it.

"I'm not sure, I'll look up names at home."

It was then that he realized that he was going back to the Dursleys soon since their shopping was done. The Malfoys asked Harry if he had a way to get back home and he realized that he didn't; they decided that they would side apparate him to his house before going to theirs.

Too soon they were standing in front of his house saying goodbye. Lucius thought he saw a flash of terror on Harry's face, but decided that he must have imagined it. "Thank you sir for allowing me to join you." Harry also said goodbye to the other two before walking toward his house; he looked back as he was about to open the door and saw that they were gone.

The following month before school started was absolutely dreadful and sometimes Harry wondered if he would still be alive by that time. His uncle, realizing that Harry would be gone for the school year, fucked him more than usual; as the rapes got worst, so did his cutting. Vernon also made it clear that since Harry wasn't going to be around to clean during the year, he would have to make his keep another way, by getting fucked by others for money that he wouldn't even keep. It didn't happen during the month but his uncle made it clear that when Harry returned for summer, it would start.

Finally the day came and Vernon said that he would only drive Harry to the station if he gave him a blow job. He refused, but that didn't do anything, Vernon just broke his left wrist and then fucked his mouth on the drive over anyways. _You're pitiful, can't even defend yourself._ He dropped him off and drove away, Harry looked up at the entrance of King's Cross and realized that this was the start of his new life.


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** **I don't own Harry Potter cause if I did, Ginny would have died in the CoS, Dumbledore would have choked on a lemon drop, and Harry and Draco would have been friends and/or lovers.**

"Dialogue"

 _Harry's Thoughts_

HPHPHP

Harry glanced at his ticket about to walk to the platform before he realized that he had no clue how to get to Platform 9 3/4. As he neared the platforms, he saw a family of red heads walk through the barrier. Harry rushed forward and when he opened his eyes, he saw a huge train and students saying good bye to their parents everywhere.

Slightly upset that he didn't have a family to say good bye to, Harry walked onto the train and found an empty compartment near the end of it. Since he was so focused on trying to lift up his trunk and not cry out in pain from the pressure on his wrist, he never noticed the door sliding open.

"Here, let me help you with that," the sudden voice startled Harry who lost his grip on the trunk trying to turn around. Two tanned hands appeared in front of him and lifted his bag up as Harry looked to the ground blushing. _Lazy freak, you can't do anything on your own._

"Hello, my name is Zabini. Blaise Zabini."

Harry glanced shyly up before shaking the offered hand. "I'm Harry Potter."

The only signs of recognition Blaise showed was his eyes slightly widening before saying, "It's nice to meet you." Just as they were sitting down, the door opened again to show Draco with two large guys and a girl.

"Harry! There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you. This here is Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, and Pansy Parkinson."

Harry felt nervous about introducing himself and hoped that these newcomers wouldn't make it a big deal. "Hi, I'm Harry Potter."

The guys didn't really seem to be paying any attention to him, but the girl seemed in shock before blurting out, "No you're not!"

"Shove off Pansy, yes he is."

Harry was shocked that Draco defended him, but was grateful as no one has ever done that before. They all settled down in the compartment and started talking about how their summer was, but Harry just stared out the window to look at the passing scenery.

After what seemed like forever there was a knock on the door and someone yelled "Tea Trolley." Draco slid the door open to show a witch pushing a trolley filled with food. Each passenger pulled out a bit of money and bought some snacks.

"Do you want anything?"

Harry glanced up to see Draco looking at him curiously. _You don't deserve any food, you worthless freak._

"No thank you. I'm not hungry right now."

"I don't understand how you're so skinny." Harry then looked to Pansy, who had made the statement.

"I'm not sure; I've always been like this."

"You're so lucky. So many girls want to be like that." She then changed her voice to a slightly higher pitch, 'I wish I was skinnier.'

"And you're not like that?"

"Not really, I don't particularly care, but Tracey Davis is always worried about her appearance and weight."

"Hmmm," was all Harry replied with before going back to looking out the window. Not long later, Pansy said, "We'll be arriving soon so you'll want to change into your robes." She left to go change in a compartment with other girls.

Harry became nervous; he didn't want anyone to see all of his bruises. Draco, noticing that Harry wasn't changing, told him that there was a bathroom he could change in. He gave Draco a grateful smile before leaving to change; when he got back Pansy was already there. The train stopped and everyone started piling out, Harry made sure to stay by Draco since he seemed confident in where he was going. The group piled into a carriage until they reached a lake.

"No more than three to a boat." Harry got into one with Draco and Blaise, which he was grateful for, since Pansy didn't seem the nicest. As they crossed the lake, Hogwarts appeared and it looked magnificent.

Once they reached land and starting walking into Hogwarts, Harry became more and more nervous. _What if I don't get sorted into a house? What if Draco doesn't want to be my friend after this?_ Tons of questions and situations flashed through his mind, until Draco told him, "Take a deep breath, you'll be fine."

They were led through a large set of doors and lined up. There were four tables with students already there and a large table with teachers in the front. A stool held a hat and Harry glanced around trying to figure out what was going to happen, but then the hat started to sing.

' _ **Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,**_

 _ **But don't judge on what you see,**_

 _ **I'll eat myself if you can find**_

 _ **A smarter hat then me.**_

 _ **You can keep your bowlers black,**_

 _ **Your top hats sleek and tall,**_

 _ **For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat**_

 _ **And I can cap them all.**_

 _ **There's nothing hidden in your head**_

 _ **The Sorting Hat can't see,**_

 _ **So try me on and I will tell you**_

 _ **Where you ought to be.**_

 _ **You might belong in Gryffindor,**_

 _ **Where dwell the brave at heart,**_

 _ **Their daring, nerve and chivalry,**_

 _ **Set Gryffindors apart;**_

 _ **You might belong in Hufflepuff**_

 _ **Where they are just and loyal,**_

 _ **Those patient Hufflepuffs are true,**_

 _ **And unafraid of toil;**_

 _ **Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,**_

 _ **If you've a ready mind,**_

 _ **Where those of wit and learning,**_

 _ **Will always find their kind;**_

 _ **Or perhaps in Slytherin,**_

 _ **Where you'll meet your real friends,**_

 _ **Those cunning folk use any means,**_

 _ **To achieve their ends.**_

 _ **So put me on! Don't be afraid!**_

 _ **And don't get in a flap!**_

 _ **You're in safe hands (Though I have none)**_

 _ **For a Thinking Cap.'**_

The hall erupted in cheers and then students began getting called up. Harry became so nervous about which house he would be in, that he barely noticed that everyone he sat on the train with got sorted into Slytherin.

Finally Harry's name was called and the hall erupted into whispers. He slowly made his way up and sat on the stool where the hat was placed on his head.

' _ **Hmm… difficult, very difficult. Plenty of courage I see, not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes, and a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?'**_

 _Just put me where I belong._

' _ **You could be great, you know. It's all here in your head. And Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness! There's no doubt about that! Ahhh… you've also made friends with Slytherins. Yes, that is the best place to put you… SLYTHERIN!'**_

The hall was completely silent as Harry walked over to the table and his shoulders hunched over more with each step. _No one wants you here, nothing more than a freak good for a fuck._ Halfway to the table, Draco stood up and started clapping, before long the entire table was clapping and cheering as Harry hurried to sit next to Draco.

As the sorting was finishing, Harry took the time to look at the professors. He saw a man in a black talking to a teacher with a turban when his scar flashed in pain.

"Hey Draco, who are those teachers?" Harry asked, nodding his head to the two."

"That's Professor Quirell and the other is Professor Snape, he's our head of the house."

Harry nodded, looking back to Snape and saw that he was looking at him curiously. Harry continued down the line of professors until he looked at the headmaster. Dumbledore was watching him, seeming upset about something, and then they locked eyes.

Memory after memory seemed to be brought up and flashed through his mind before another one would appear. Harry wanted to look away, but found that he couldn't. The connection finally broke when Draco grabbed his arm and called out his name. Harry shook his head feeling slightly nauseous, trying to figure out what happened.

When he looked up again he saw Draco looking at him in concern and most of his house glaring at Dumbledore. Moving his eyes, he noticed that Professor Snape was looking back and forth between him and Dumbledore, appearing upset about something.

"What happened?"

Draco glared at Dumbledore while an older student started to explain what had happened.

"Dumbledore, the old fool, performed Legilimency on you, which allows him to see your thoughts and memories. He's not allowed to cast it on students though."

Harry felt even worst now at the thought of the Headmaster knowing what happens to him. Dumbledore stood up and gave a speech before sitting down and food appeared everywhere.

Knowing that he wouldn't be able to eat, Harry put a little bit of food on his plate and tried to appear to be eating it. He would bring the fork to his mouth, but before he ate anything, put it back down and either said something or joined a conversation.

Soon it was time to go to their dorms and all of the food vanished. Each table stood up and starting walking to their destinations. Harry was walking with Draco and Blaise to the dungeons, following their prefect, when a hand closed around his arm.

"Listen, you should probably ask for a resorting."

Harry turned to see who made the statement and saw a redhead backed up by two other boys.

"Why would I do that?" Harry asked confused, trying to pull his arm back.

The redhead rolled his eyes, "Because you belong in Gryffindor obviously. Also, my name's Ron Weasley." He then noticed Draco and said, while still glaring at him, "You shouldn't hang out with him, everyone knows his whole family's dark"

Harry frowned and yanked his arm back, stepping away to stand by Draco. "Draco's my friend and he's helped me out more than once, so I would appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about him like that."

Ron's face got redder than his hair and he pulled out his wand, pointing it at Harry. "You're probably dark just like him, becoming the next Dark Lord." He started to cast a spell, but before he finished, someone yelled out "Expelliarmus," his wand flung away.

They followed the path of the wand into a Slytherin prefect's hand. He was obviously upset, glaring at Ron, before turning to the boys.

"Are you all okay, I came back when we realized that you three weren't with the rest of the first years? What happened?"

Ron stuttered, trying to figure out an excuse. Blaise then stepped forward explaining the situation to him. If possible the prefect became even more upset, he sent Ron away, before saying that they would tell Professor Snape about it.

Heading further into the dungeons, they stopped in front of a blank wall. The prefect said, "Belladonna," and a door appeared for them to walk into. Snape appeared to be in the middle of a speech when they walked in; the prefect walked toward him, and quietly explained the situation. He finished the speech and then asked the three boys to follow him to his office.

Snape told the boys that Ron's head of house would be told and he would be punished accordingly. He then went on to explain everything that they had missed about the dorms and rules. Harry became nervous when he sent Draco and Blaise away, asking Harry to stay with him so they could talk privately.

"What happened in the great hall with Dumbledore?"

Harry was shocked at the question; he assumed that Snape already knew what had happened. "I looked at him and we locked eyes, I couldn't look away. An older student at the table told me that Dumbledore had performed Legilimency and that he wasn't supposed to."

"Hmm… strange of him to do that. From now on, avoid looking at him directly in the eyes and he won't be able to do it again. Now, on to more pressing matters, why weren't you eating tonight?"

Harry stuttered, nervous that someone had noticed that, before making an excuse about not being hungry. Snape appeared to accept this and told Harry to go get a good night sleep for tomorrow.

When he reached the dorms, he saw that there were five beds in each room. Two on the same wall as the door, and three opposite of them. Harry was glad to see that not only was he the closest to the door, but that he was also next to Draco.

"What did Snape want to talk about?"

"He just wanted to ask about Dumbledore in the hall earlier."

They all changed into their sleep wear before settling down into the beds. Harry made sure to say good night to the other boys, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle, before closing the curtains on his bed.

Harry found that he was unable to sleep, so he thought about everything that had happened and worried about tomorrow. Eventually he dozed off into a light sleep, filled with nightmares.


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter cause if I did, Ginny would have died in the CoS, Dumbledore would have choked on a lemon drop, and Harry and Draco would have been friends and/or lovers.**

"Dialogue"

 _Harry's Thoughts_

 **HPHPHP**

Harry barely acknowledged that someone was yelling his name before his cheek was stinging in pain. He shot out of bed, holding his hand against his cheek, trying to forget the particularly sadistic rape he had been dreaming about.

"Sorry about slapping you mate, but you were practically screaming bloody murder and wouldn't wake up."

Finally realizing that his uncle couldn't hurt him, he glanced around to see his roommates all watching him in concern. Harry started to get out of bed to get ready for the day, but hands were pushing him back down.

"You can't just get up and act like this didn't happen. What the bloody hell were you dreaming about that would make you act like that?"

Harry could tell that Draco was really worried about him. It made him happy to see that someone cares about him, but Draco could never know how filthy he really was. _When Draco finds out, he'll never want to be around a dirty whore like you again._

"It was nothing important, I was just having a nightmare," Harry chuckled nervously before continuing to say, "Now can we please get ready so we're not late?"

His other roommates seemed to accept this, but Draco looked at Harry suspiciously before getting ready. On their way down to breakfast, they met up with Pansy and a girl who introduced herself as Daphne Greengrass.

When they entered the hall, all conversation seemed to end and whispers broke out all about Harry. Realizing this, Harry hunched over, unconsciously trying to make himself seem smaller. In doing so, he didn't see the curious eyes of Snape or the calculating eyes of another.

Once they were seated, Harry made sure to angle his body away from Snape, hoping he won't realize that he wasn't eating as he used the same method from the night before. Feeling someone's eyes on him, he glanced up to see Ron sneering at him before whispering something to his friends that made them all laugh, looking at Harry.

Breakfast passed quickly and suddenly Snape was handing out their schedules. Draco took one look at it and scoffed, "It's bloody unfair to have our first class on Monday with the Gryffindors."

 _ **Monday:**_

 _ **Double Potions w/ Gryffindor**_

 _ **Charms w/ Ravenclaw**_

 _ **Transfiguration w/ Gryffindor**_

 _ **Tuesday:**_

 _ **Transfiguration w/ Gryffindor**_

 _ **DADA w/ Gryffindor**_

 _ **History of Magic w/ Ravenclaw**_

 _ **Charms w/ Ravenclaw**_

 _ **Wednesday:**_

 _ **Herbology w/ Hufflepuff**_

 _ **Transfiguration w/ Gryffindor**_

 _ **Flying Lessons w/ Gryffindor**_

 _ **Charms w/ Ravenclaw**_

 _ **Thursday:**_

 _ **DADA w/ Gryffindor**_

 _ **History of Magic w/ Ravenclaw**_

 _ **Transfiguration w/ Gryffindor**_

 _ **Charms w/ Ravenclaw**_

 _ **Friday:**_

 _ **Potions w/ Gryffindor**_

 _ **Herbology w/ Hufflepuff**_

 _ **Charms w/ Ravenclaw**_

 _ **Transfiguration w/ Gryffindor**_

Harry was completely nervous about his first class as he never got to read any of the books because they were all taken away when he arrived home. When everyone finished their meals, they all got up and headed to the potions class.

Slytherins were the first to arrive and they all sat on one side of the room, making it clear that the Gryffindors would sit on the other. Draco and Harry sat next to each other while Crabbe and Goyle, Pansy and Blaise, and Theo and Daphne sat together. The Gryffindors shuffled in later and they all sat down waiting for the professor to arrive.

Professor Snape entered, banging the door open, and with his robes swirling out behind him. He started off with roll call and then made it clear that he didn't believe most of them would pass the class. Snape took off 5 points when Ron snickered at his speech.

"Ahhh… Mr. Weasley, I had the unfortunate pleasure of teaching your elder brothers also. Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

"I don't know sir."

"Well then, where would I find a bezoar?"

"I don't know sir."

"How about an easy question then. What is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

"I don't know sir."

"10 points from Gryffindor for not even bothering to open up your book before class, Mr. Weasley. Together, powdered root of asphodel and an infusion of wormwood form a powerful sleeping potion known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone found in the stomach of a goat that can cure most poisons. Finally, there is no difference between monkshood and wolfsbane; they are the same thing, also known as aconite. I suggest, Mr. Weasley, that if you want to be successful in my class, that you open up the book and read the provided chapters.

The rest of the potions class seemed to pass quickly, with Snape taking points from Gryffindor and giving points to Slytherin. As they were finishing their brewing, a loud hissing sound filled the classroom and clouds of smoke began pouring out of Neville Longbottom's cauldron. The whole class was standing on their stools, with the exception of Neville who had been drenched in the potion and was now covered in painful boils.

"Idiot boy!" snarled Snape, disappearing the potion with a wave of his wand. "I suppose you added the porcupine quills before taking the cauldron off the fire?"

Longbottom just whimpered as more boils began to pop up all over him. He was barely recognizable and Harry felt a bit sorry for him.

"Take him to the hospital wing," Snape spat at Weasley, who was Longbottom's partner, "And 10 points from Gryffindor.

When class ended, everyone started to head up to go to lunch, but Snape asked Potter to stay behind. Harry was thankful that he could avoid lunch and wouldn't have to pretend to eat, but was nervous about being alone with Snape. _Maybe he decided that you'd be a good fuck._

Harry slowly walked towards Snape's desk, keeping his head down and wondering what he did wrong.

"I know you're wondering if you're in trouble and the answer is no. I just wanted to tell you that though I seem harsh, you can come to me with any problems that you have. These problems could be academic, personal, or bullying. My door is always open to one of my snakes."

Harry gaped at Snape who held him in a steel glance as he finished his small lecture. He realized that he would have to be more discreet about any problems if he didn't want Snape to find out. _When they find out how messed up you are, you'll be kicked out of Hogwarts._

"Thank you Professor, but everything is alright. I mean, it was a shock to suddenly learn about magic, but I'm adjusting well."

Snape seemed to look Harry up and down, appraising how truthful he was being, before he sighed.

"Alright , you better hurry down to the Hall to get any lunch."

And with that, Harry set off in the direction of the library, where he could avoid lunch and his friend's questions. _They're not even your friends, they just pity you._

Harry spent the rest of the day in the library, completing his work and insulting himself, while trying to come up with more excuses to keep Snape and dorm mate's off his back.


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter cause if I did, Ginny would have died in the CoS, Dumbledore would have choked on a lemon drop, and Harry and Draco would have been friends and/or lovers.**

"Dialogue"

 _Harry's Thoughts_

Hey babes, sorry I haven't updated in like forever. I'm going through a lot right now and on top of that school is really kicking my ass, and on top of all that I just suck at writing. This update is extremely short because I will be asking for help at the end of the chapter so please read the note at the end.

 **HPHPHP**

As time passed, life at Hogwarts seemed to be mainly uneventful. During their first flight lesson, Neville managed to fall a good distance and had to be taken to the infirmary. Other than that, nothing of importance seemed to happen.

Classes seemed to pass in a blur along with not eating, cutting nightly, and trying to keep all of this a secret. Long times spent in the library allowed Harry to learn silencing spells so he wouldn't wake his dorm mate's with his nightmares. He also learned some simple glamours to hide his cuts in case his sleeves ever got pulled up.

Before Harry knew it, it was the night of the Halloween feast and everybody was excited to see what treats there would be. As he walked with his friends to the Hall, he tried to come up with an excuse to get out of eating.

Once they reached the great doors, Harry stopped before saying, "I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be back soon," before darting away. He hid in the bathroom for as long as he could before resigning to the fate that he would have to eat some. _Oh, you just want to eat candy, you fatass._

He settled down at the table, putting some random foods on his plate, not noticing the appraising gaze from the head table. It seemed luck was on his side that night because before he could take a bite, the doors were flung open, slamming against the wall.

"TROLL IN THE DUNGEON…Thought you ought to know."

"SILENCE. Can house prefects please lead the students back to their dormitories."

Not a sound was made after Dumbledore yelled, silencing all students so he could tell them what to do. After which, everyone started walking together back to their houses, keeping an eye out for the loose troll.

Finally the Slytherins reached their dorms and relaxed on the couches and chairs in the common room. Seeing this as the perfect escape opportunity, Harry excused himself saying that he was going to go lay down. He set up the silencing and warding spells around his bed to ensure that he wouldn't be bothered.

Once Harry was safe in isolation he pulled out his razor blade and prepared to cut, though he soon reached a problem. As he rolled up his sleeves, he saw that he had no untouched skin to cut, unless he wanted to reopen wounds. Harry soon decided that the best route would be to cut his thighs, since he would not have to cover them with glamours. _Maybe if I'm covered in enough scars, I'll be too ugly for them to want to fuck._

Afterwards Harry went to go shower and clean up his wounds. He decided to go study and talk with his peers to lessen suspicion and not seem as withdrawn. All in all, Harry felt that it had been a great night; he didn't have to eat and he also got to cut, all without raising any suspicion. When it became time to go to bed, he made sure to cast a one sided silencing charm, so he wouldn't wake up his roommates with his nightmares, but he could still hear them in the morning.

 **HPHPHP**

Okay babes, so like I said, I have no clue where I'm going with this. I need massive help so please review your opinions. So:

Would you like Hermione to live or die, and if she lives do you want the Slytherin group to be nice or rude to her.

Do you want Voldemort to be completely evil or also grey like Harry, and just appears evil based off Dumbledore's manipulations.

I have already decided that Harry's life with the muggles won't be completely discovered anytime soon. I plan on having him molested by Lockhart in the second book in this series, and have Harry's life discovered when they check him after Lockhart before going home for that summer. Does this sound like an okay idea or should I change it up?

 _ **Please**_ _ **respond with your opinions because if I can't figure out what to do, I will be deleting/abandoning this story!**_ __


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter cause if I did, Ginny would have died in the CoS, Dumbledore would have choked on a lemon drop, and Harry and Draco would have been friends and/or lovers.**

"Dialogue"

 _Harry's Thoughts_

 ** _Parseltongue_**

Hey babes, I know it's been forever, but I'm finally updating so please don't kill me. Not sure how I feel about this chapter, but I'm just gonna go with the flow and hope it isn't too bad.

 **HPHPHP**

Harry was thankful that he had put up the silencing charm because he woke up in the middle of the night screaming. He remembered the contents of his dream and ran to the bathroom, barely making it before he threw up stomach bile and water. He could still hear Vernon panting above him and the pain he had felt. After sitting in front of the toilet for a little bit longer to make sure he wouldn't throw up again, he got up to brush his teeth. He stopped short when he turned around because there stood Blaise, watching him with one eye up and a questioning look on his face.

"Um, h-hi, what are you doing up," Harry barely managed to stutter out as he tried to find a way out of the situation.

He started to panic when Blaise finally spoke up, "How about you brush your teeth, then we can go and talk."

Struggling to stay calm, he went and brushed his teeth. Then he followed Blaise down to the empty common room and watched Blaise put up a silencing ward around them. They sat in silence until Blaise finally spoke up.

"So… what was that all about? I was finishing up my essay when all of a sudden you're crying and running to the bathroom to throw up."

Harry opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off, "and don't even try to use being sick as an excuse, I want the truth."

"It was nothing, I just had a nightmare."

Once again Blaise's eyebrow raised up, "What was so bad about your dream? Maybe it'll help to talk about it."

"Nothing, it's personal," Harry quickly shot back.

"Harry, we can all tell that something is wrong and it looks like its getting worse. I hate to do this, but either you talk about it or I go to Snape."

With his mouth dropped open in shock, Harry found that he couldn't even talk. He couldn't believe that Blaise would do this to him. _'You shouldn't be so shocked; you deserve it if you thought he was really your friend.'_

Blaise grimaced and spoke up again, "I'm really sorry Harry, I don't want to do this but you need help."

In the end, it wasn't a hard choice for Harry. There was no way he'd let Snape find out and he could always lie about his dream. And that's exactly what he did.

"The dream was the night Voldemort killed my parents, I can still hear my mother screaming my name. Now that I've told you, I hope you'll keep this between us, I'm going back to bed."

Harry stood up before Blaise could respond and went back to bed, though he knew he wouldn't be falling asleep. He couldn't believe what Blaise just did and felt hurt; he thought he could trust his friends, but this only serves to prove that he can't trust anyone. ' _You're always going to be alone… well except when you're being a slut for Vernon.'_

Another thing that bothered him was how he used his parents as an excuse. It was the most reasonable thing he could think of at the moment, but he like he just disgraced his parent's memory. ' _They'd be so disappointed of you.'_

He spent the rest of the night thinking, he wanted to cut, but was afraid that Blaise would still be up. As morning came, he made sure to get up and ready before the other boys could wake up. He headed down to the Hall to get some water, not even glancing at the food he didn't need. The Hall was nearly empty still and no one was at the Slytherin table so no one noticed as he smeared crumbs and other sorts on his plate. When the rest of his dorm mates came down he was immersed in a book all about glamours. He knew the basics, but wanted to make his stronger. He jumped slightly as Draco sat beside him asking what he was reading.

"Oh nothing important, just a random book about the history of Hogwarts," he said quickly as he put it into his bag. Looking up, he saw that Blaise was sitting across from him and gave him a nod when the Italian boy sent a weak smile in his direction. _'They don't want to be your friends, they pity you.'_

If Draco noticed the exchange, he didn't mention it. "Hey where were you this morning?"

Turning to look at Draco he apologized, "Oh sorry, I was hungry so I came down early to eat."

That seemed to please the boy and they all started to talk about the troll last night. Harry noted that Snape looked at his plate when he passed by on his way to the professor's table, he hoped this would help get him off his back.

Dumbledore stood up and addressed the students, "As you all know, we had a situation last night involving a troll. A student was injured last night and Miss Granger will be staying in the infirmary till she heals. Any of her friends that wish to see her can go as long as it doesn't interfere with your classes. That is all for now." He sat back down and conversations flared up at all tables, discussing the new topic.

Draco sneered, "I personally don't care what happens to that mudblood."

The table seemed to go quiet and all eyes looked to Harry who was confused. "What's a mudblood?"

Blaise was the first to speak up, "A mudblood is another name for witches and wizards that are muggleborn, which means that their parents were both muggles."

"So it's an insult? But I'm a halfblood and my mother was a muggleborn." ' _They don't care, this only proves that you're beneath them.'_

It seemed as if Draco had forgotten that little fact, but Harry didn't see the flash of regret on his face because he was already standing up.

"We still have some time before class starts, I'm going to the library, see you later," and with that, Harry was gone.

Harry had conflicting feelings on the way to the library. On one hand, he felt upset that Draco had insulted his mother, but he could also understand. Draco thought all muggles were crude and Harry couldn't argue with him on that fact. So it would only make sense that he would think muggleborns were beneath him, after all Draco is pure. _'Unlike you, filthy freak.'_

Harry spent the rest of his free time practicing his glamours and found a way to change the way it would affect him. That way he could slowly change his appearance to look better and it won't be too sudden of a change, which would be suspicious.

Before leaving the library, Harry dropped the glamours for a second before putting them back up with a little more power behind them. He picked up his stuff and headed out, not noticing the eyes following him that twinkled brighter at this new revelation.

 **HPHPHP**

Alright babes, I hope this chapter wasn't too dreadful. In case it wasn't obvious, it was Dumbledore watching him at the end of the chapter. That's pretty much it and I promise to try to update more.


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